Apply Mel Robbins' Let Them Theory to Your Career
The "Let Them" theory means letting other people hold their opinions, make their choices, and form their judgments without letting your anticipation of those reactions stop your progress. In your career, this principle frees you from self-rejection—letting hiring managers evaluate your background rather than deciding for them by never submitting an application.
As outlined in an analysis of lessons from Mel Robbins' book, stepping away from external validation allows you to quiet internal doubt and act on your priorities. Putting that mindset to work requires changing how you apply, write, and interview.
How do you stop rejecting yourself from stretch roles?
Most qualified candidates screen themselves out long before a recruiter reads their application. They look at a job post, spot two unfamiliar tools or an ambitious title, and assume applying would be an embarrassment. A "let them" approach shifts the responsibility back to the employer: your job is to apply, and their job is to evaluate.
- Audit your qualification criteria: If you understand the core problem the company is trying to solve, submit your materials. Let the hiring team decide if your background fits.
- Rewrite tentative resume lines into outcomes: Remove minimizing phrasing like "helped with" or "assisted the team." State the work directly. If you want a quick review of your phrasing, ask your Destava career manager to run the /rewrite-bullet skill to put your business impact first.
- Example resume shift: Replace "Assisted senior leadership with quarterly budget reviews and financial models" with "Built quarterly financial forecast models that identified unallocated project spend across four departments."
How do you reach out when you fear looking pushy?
Professionals frequently avoid contacting hiring teams or publishing observations on LinkedIn because they worry about looking inexperienced or overstepping. Letting others think what they want removes that paralysis.
- Send concise, relevant notes: Reach out to a hiring manager with a direct note that connects your background to a problem they are actively hiring for.
- Example message to send: "Hi Sarah, I saw your team is hiring a Senior Operations Lead. I recently led our internal shift from legacy tracking spreadsheets to automated workflows, which resolved our project reporting delays. If you are still reviewing candidates, I would welcome five minutes to share how that work applies to this role."
- Engage in your field publicly: If sharing your perspective on industry posts feels daunting, use Destava's Comment Assist to draft a thoughtful, professional response that adds substance to the conversation without overthinking the wording.
What should you ask in an interview when stepping up?
Worrying about whether you can handle higher expectations often leads to declining promotions or avoiding advanced roles. Instead of retreating from the challenge, use the interview process to assess whether the support structure exists for you to succeed.
During your next interview, ask: "When someone steps into this role from a slightly different background, what does their onboarding support look like during the first ninety days to help them close any gaps?" Their answer will tell you immediately whether the organization sets people up for success or leaves them unassisted.